Chris Voss — Never Split the Difference

The Source

Chris Voss's hostage-negotiation methodology, developed at the FBI and taught through the book Never Split the Difference. Provides the curriculum's precision listening tools, layered on top of the base Listen → Display → React → Ask → Offer formula.

Core Ideas (from the project so far)

• Mirroring — repeating back the last few words of what someone said, prompting elaboration without another direct question.
• Labeling — naming an observed emotion aloud, without judgment ("it sounds like you're worried this won't work out") — validates the emotion and invites correction if misread.
• Calibrated questions — open "how/what" questions (never "why," which reads as accusatory) that hand the other person a felt sense of control while guiding them toward solving the problem themselves.
• "That's right" vs. "you're right" — "you're right" often just means someone wants the conversation to end; "that's right," typically following an accurate label or summary, signals genuine alignment.
• The Accusation Audit — naming, out loud and first, the worst thing the other person might be thinking about you or your position, before they have to say it.
• "No" starts the conversation — converges with Camp's version of the same idea from a different angle: a "no" is a decision, often the actual start of productive dialogue.

My Notes

Open Questions